A careful reading of Revelation will show that Judgment Day is tomorrow - November 25, 2008.
How do we know this?
Because Barry Manilow is releasing a new album titled "The Greatest Songs of the Eighties".
It all makes sense. First, he has not aged in 40 years, though his music is immediately old (as demonstrated by an album of 80s music.) Hello? Dorian Gray?
Second, an album of the most annoying music of the 80s by the most annoying artist of the 70s, released in 2008 has to be indicative of some sort of plot to break our already fragile spirits.
For those of you somehow offended by this, or who doubt the validity of this conjecture, I leave you with this:
Was "Islands in the Stream" such a great song that it needed to be remade?
Was anyone pining away for a remake of ANYTHING by Rick Astley?
And just when when we had finally purged that Christopher Cross ear worm from our collective consciousness, along comes Barry singing "Arthur's Theme."
Let loose the dogs of hell.
God help me. Am I getting old (yes) or are the originals always, always better than the remakes?
I mean really, what can Barry do to improve on Kenny Rogers and Dolly Pardon? The original is on my iPod now. It's a classic.
I will admit that I have never been a Manilow fan. I believe you can only pick one old cheesy person as your musical idol, and Neil Diamond is the m-a-n. Even he's has steered clear of Rick Astley.
Nice Dorian Gray reference. Well played.
Posted by: Lauree Ostrofsky | November 24, 2008 at 06:19 PM