BillBakerBlog.com

A Man Steps Up and Admits When He is Wrong

About a month ago, I posted a horribly unfair screed about the "Cash for Clunkers" program enacted by Congress to help spur car sales.

My thesis was that the program was too restrictive and that no one would be able to take part.

Boy, was I wrong. It turns out Congress screwed up in the other direction. The program - which started last Friday and was supposed to go until November or until the $1 billion allocation was used up -  is out of money. In one week.

Today, the president and Congress added $2 billion in stimulus funds to keep the party rolling. Keep in mind that this is all taxpayer money, so when the guy next door shows off his new BMW, tell him you want to drive your portion of it.

Anyway, let this be a lesson: Any jackass can start a blog. Shame on YOU for believing what you read!

Haiku Friday - The Week of July 27, 2009

"I was burned out from exhaustion, buried in the hail,
Poisoned in the bushes an' blown out on the trail."
- Bob Dylan

There's nothing but the same old news (White House beer pong this, health care that) and Haiku Harry really doesn't have much more to say. Plus, he's just plain pooped.

So, as of this week, he becomes "Hiatus Harry" and joins Congress in taking off the month of August to shop the back-to-school and the first Christmas sales, and gets ready to come back, keyboard a-blazin', in September.

If actual news breaks out in August (say, if Sarah Palin gets her own reality show or poses in Playboy), we will call him in. Otherwise, it's sayonara Harry.

But, he'll leave a parting shot:

Everyone is gone.
There is nothing new to say.
"Paging Mark Sanford!"

Thanks, Harry. We'll have to mitigate our withdrawal symptoms of not having you on Fridays by knocking off from work on Thursdays, around 2:00 PM.

Professors, Presidents and Police

So, tonight is the big kegger at the White House with President Obama, Harvard Professor Henry Louis Gates and Cambridge cop James Crowley.

Since most of us don't know any of these guys personally, it is difficult to understand what happened and who was in the wrong. (Clearly, someone screwed up here.)

However, I do count several cops as friends, including my closest friend of 30 years and here is what I do know:

Generally, people have encounters with the police on two occasions:

1. When they are a crime victim.
2. When they have committed a crime.

Both situations are obviously negative and something that most of us would endeavor to avoid.

So, cops see people at their worst, their lowest. The rest of the time they toil away in quiet obscurity, putting lives on the line and dealing with the dark side of society that, again, most of us would rather not touch.

Knowing the cops that I know and, based on the stories they tell, I tend to give them every benefit of the doubt. Sure, there are less-than-perfect cops, just as I am sure there are less-than-perfect Harvard professors.

But I throw my lot in with the guy who straps on a gun and a bullet-proof vest and puts himself out there every day, including just responding to a neighbor's call and making sure that the house of an ivory-tower intellectual with an agenda was not being robbed one summer afternoon.

Thank you, JetBlue.

Yep - you read it right. I have to give props when they are due. And thank you Nautica, Toyota, Accenture, Janus and all the other sponsors of the 2009 New York City Triathlon which I raced on Sunday, July 26.

My feud with JetBlue started a year ago and ends here. Any company that supports the sport that I enjoy so much and in which I have been racing for 20 years, well... I get a little verklempt.

JetBlue volunteers were at the swim start, collecting our crap that we needed after the race and then hauling it over to the finish in Central Park. JetBlue also sponsored the big party at the finish.

I am pretty sure that the JetBlue employees who volunteered would have rather set themselves on fire than get up at 3:00 am to spend the day carting our stuff around, but that's what they did.

The logistics of putting on a triathlon with 3,500 competitors in New York City boggles the mind, but the race went off without a hitch. The entire race organization and management was simply fantastic, and the race sponsors play a huge role.

So thanks, JetBlue, for supporting triathlon. And please don't let my affiliation with this sport spoil you on sponsoring the race again next year.

Haiku Friday - The Week of July 20, 2009

Yep. You can feel August coming on:

• The fire hose of news is slowing to a trickle.
• President Obama has shifted his plans for health care reform from August to... um... whenever.
• The wild blackberries are ready for the picking.
• The dead possum on the side of the road near my house is really ripening up nicely.

It's good to take it easy and rest up in late July and August. Especially this year. We'll need all our strength to fight off not one but TWO types of flu this fall and winter.

Try not to strain yourself as you take in the less-than-momentous news of the week.

Apollo birthday.
We went to the moon. Now what?
A lame space station.

Health care on fast track.
Obama says "Do it NOW!!!"
Congress is nervous.

The prez on TV:
"I mean it! Pass this law now!"
Not so fast there, bub.

NRA loses.
Keep your guns in your own state!
In church? That's Okay!

The Dow hits 9K.
Is the recession over?
Who cares?! Buy, buy, buy!

For those of you hitting the road for vacation, try to keep at least one eye on the road and one knee on the steering wheel as you text, tweet and talk your way down the highway.

Marking a Historic Anniversary in Aviation History

As you all know, this week marks an extraordinary moment in the history of flight. Millions of people around the world were glued to their screens as the drama played out. Most people remember exactly where they were...

...when JetBlue Airways screwed me and tried to abandon me in Portland, Oregon, on July 23, 2008.

Anniversaries are a time of reflection and a good place to stop and look back, with a bit of perspective, and reassess what happened.

You can find a blow-by-blow account of the whole sordid thing over on MyJetBlueLawsuit.com. You can relive the galactic corporate obstinacy on the part of JetBlue and experience the near sociopathic fervor by which I pursued that evil, evil company.

It all came to a dramatic conclusion, when, in F. Lee Bailey-like fashion, I smited (smote?) the mighty beast in small claims court and collected my just reward.

To paraphrase President Kennedy: "We choose to sue the airlines and do the other things - not because they are easy, but because they are hard. And because it is great fun sticking your finger in the eye of an abusive, hypocritical corporation."

So gather the kids around the blog-fire and transport yourself back to a time when a frustrated flier and humble blogger said "Enough!"

And just as with the space race 40 years ago, when good triumphed over evil, a nation - nay, the world - came together for a brief moment and celebrated "One small step for man, one giant pain in the ass for JetBlue."

My Brush with Greatness: Walter Cronkite at the Supermarket

Some time around 1994, a group of us were on Martha's Vineyard for a triathlon. We rented a house for a week and on a Sunday morning, I went to the supermarket in Edgartown to get the New York Times.

I walked in and asked a cashier where the newspapers were. She pointed and I walked over to the newspaper rack and grabbed the last copy, just as an elderly gentlemen was reaching for it.

I looked up and he smiled and said "Darn, you got the last copy."

I said: "You're Walter Cronkite, aren't' you?"

"Yes," he replied, a little embarrassed.

"Here," I said, "Take the last copy. You're Walter Cronkite for crying out loud."

He laughed, asked me if I was sure. I insisted and he thanked me and walked away.

I grew up watching Walter Cronkite. My parents watched the CBS Evening News right up until Walter (he seems like you could call him Walter) retired in 1981.

He was part of the reason that to this day, I remain a news junkie and why I still watch the nightly news almost religiously.

Of course, as documented on this blog and countless other places, the state of the news industry today is a shadow of what it was in Walter's heyday. (Two words: Katie Couric.)

It makes me sad to think that Mr. Cronkite is now dead and that his brand of straightforward, well-written, well-edited, non-sensational TV news died with him, when he retired.

Alas, that's the way it is.

Haiku Friday - The Week of July 13, 2009

Does anyone know if President Obama is taking a vacation this summer? He really should.

Why?

Because Haiku Harry, this blog's poetry master, is burned out and needs a vacation himself.

The president is the Energizer Bunny of policy - foreign, domestic, health care, economy, environment - you name it, this guy is doing something about it. Only time will tell if he is on the right side of history, but geez, Mr. President - take a break. Play some golf or basketball or smoke a pack of Camels - whatever it is you do when you are not doing what you do.

The last thing you want as part of your presidential legacy is driving a poor, humble haiku writer so hard that he has to go on long term disability. (Unless, of course, your health care plan covers that sort of thing...)

Anyway, through clenched jaw and carpal tunneled hands, here is the week's news summary in haiku form, handcrafted and imported from Japan. (Actually, we are now outsourcing to writers in Bangalore, India.)

Sonia does Congress.
Dems lover her, G.O.P - not.
No matter; she's in.

Sarah Palin speaks.
"I quit, but Barack is bad!"
Why do we listen?

Goldman Sachs scores big.
Big risks = huge profits.
Taxpayers? Zero.

The shuttle lifts off.
Two weeks in space to do... what?
NASA needs new game.

The health care bill moves.
The vote was on party lines.
This will get ugly.

If you are reading this, Mr. President, you have an open invitation to vacation in our town. We have a lake, a movie theater and the corn should be coming in a few weeks. Just get the hell out of Washington. Please.

Summer travel: Nothing but delays and no refunds

My travails with JetBlue last summer are well-documented. JetBlue tried to delay me for three days in Portland, Oregon, with no hotel, food or any options. JetBlue blamed the weather.

I sued in small claims court and and won. JetBlue paid.

Tonight, after five delays stretching back more than a month to June 13, the space shuttle finally took flight. NASA has blamed the delays on everything from equipment problems to... the weather.

Sounds familiar.

The difference, of course, is just an order of magnitude in cost. JetBlue had to pay me $494.00, whereas every time the space shuttle delays, it costs the taxpayers of this country millions. And for what?

Well, it's been said that the only reason we built the space station was so that the space shuttle had somewhere to go. And the only reason we keep flying the space shuttle is because it is the only way to get to the space station.

Basically, the space station is a third-rate spaceport and NASA is a high-cost, delay-prone, glorified airline. Hardly a glowing tribute to the same agency that put a man on the moon 40 years ago next week.

Our country now has a trillion dollar annual deficit. Can we afford this silliness? Any way I can take NASA to small claims court and get back my portion of taxes for this dumbass program?

Sarah Palin Resignation Accelerates Global Warming

Climatologists have determined that Alaska governor Sara Palin's abrupt decision to quit her job has drastically increased the pace of global warming.

"Whenever humans speak, they exhale carbon dioxide, which is the leading cause of global warming," said Nathan Gormley, chief scientist at the National Oceanic Atmospheric Administration. "Mrs. Palin's rambling, incoherent resignation speech and then her subsequent interviews produced enough CO2 to affect, ironically, caribou migration patterns in Alaska. Then you add in all the pundits, Meet the Press and radio talk show hosts and you have the perfect storm for worldwide famine and population dislocation. Rush Limbaugh's bloviating alone will likely kill about two million people on the Asian sub-continent."

At the recent G8 summit, emerging nations including China and India said, in effect, if the U.S. can't get her to shut the f*ck up, then they see no reason to curtail the construction of coal-fired power plants at the current rate of two new plants every six minutes.

"God forbid she gets her own talk show," said Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh. "We'll be spending winter vacations on the beach in Moscow."

Sarah Palin, when reached for comment, went on a 45 minute discourse on "real Americans" and "the evils of a free press." Several hours later, an entire pod of humpback whales beached themselves near Whidbey Bay, Alaska.

Haiku Friday - The Week of July 6, 2009

I thought things were supposed to slow down in July. Apparently, the world did not get the memo. Between Sarah Palin bailin' (thank you, New York Post, for that one) and Mike Jackson dyin', the media was in a veritable frenzy, awash with news of washed-up, has-beens, whose careers and/or actual bodies had ceased to be.

Oh, and there was other stuff too, summarized forthwith:

Barack in Russia.
"Can't we all just get along?"
Dmitri says "Da!"

Michael Jackson: dead.
Funeral = party.
Enough already.

China keeps killing,
then blocks Internet access.
What a bunch of thugs.

The G8 have lunch.
"We must cut greenhouse gases!"
China says: "F-U!"

Iran back at it.
The "Supreme Leader" cracks down.
Democracy? Feh!

Ensign pays off babe.
G.O.P. is imploding.
Kind of fun to watch.

"New" GM is here.
It's leaner, meaner, better.
Except for the cars.

If you are out fishing this weekend and you run into an attractive, out-of-work, slightly incoherent, fishy-smelling woman, say "hi" to Governor Palin for me.

The media is dead, buried with Michael Jackson

One of the Twitter feeds I follow is called The Media is Dying. It chronicles all the media outlets that are laying-off people or shutting down entirely.

Well, it is no longer necessary. The media officially buried itself with its sycophantic coverage of Michael Jackson's funeral. It was embarrassing beyond description. Tuesday night, ABC World News devoted something like 14 of its 22 minutes to:

- scenes of the funeral
- discussion of the funeral
- discussion of the significance of Michael Jackson

It was "Entertainment Tonight", with Charlie Gibson anchoring.

Popes, presidents and kings do not get this kind of coverage. And never mind what one thinks of Michael Jackson, his music, his lifestyle, his legal troubles or anything else. The fact is that he was a pop singer. Yes, one of the most successful in history, but he was a POP SINGER!

If you are the managing editor of CNN, ABC News or any of the others, you include the funeral as a 30 second story, with maybe 15 seconds of video. Then, you move on to less important news - like two wars, the economy, a presidential summit in Russia and ethnic cleansing in China.

No wonder the media is dead.

Haiku Friday (on Thursday) - The Week of June 29, 2009

This weekend we celebrate the birth of the greatest nation on Earth. It can be depressing to think that this is the same nation that produced Joseph McCarthy, Aldrich Ames and Bernie Madoff.

But we also gave the world Abraham Lincoln, Thomas Edison and Flavor Flav, so, you know, we can't be all bad.

In fact conflict, contradiction and turmoil are rooted in the very fabric of any great, creative nation. As Orson Wells said in The Third Man: 

"In Italy for 30 years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love - they had 500 years of democracy and peace, and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock."

So, we take the bad with the good and through it all, the United States is at once the most reviled and envied country in history.

And speaking of history, some was made this past week:

"Bernie gets the max!
Going to jail until death.
Live long, DON'T prosper.

Fair play rules in Court.
Hire based on merit, not race.
Sonia got it wrong.

Start to leave Iraq.
They can take care of themselves?
Not very likely.

Minnesota done!
Al Franken in the Senate!
At last, it's over!

Tough times for Arnold.
California is flat broke.
I.O.U.s must do.

The U.S. is fat.
Mississippi is the worst.
Dude - have a salad.

Mark Sanford is nuts.
He really needs to shut up.
Resigning might help.

It's the 4th of July weekend. Don't forget to set something on fire (a burger), blow something up (fireworks or the Taliban) and make a lot of noise (repeatedly confess to an affair in Argentina). It's the American way.