BillBakerBlog.com

Memorial Day 2010

Enjoy the day and remember who to thank for it.

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    In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
   That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
   Scarce heard amid the guns below.

   We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
   Loved, and were loved, and now we lie
         In Flanders fields.

   Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
   The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
   We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
         In Flanders fields.

- Lieutenant Colonel John McCrae (Canada), May 3, 1915

Facebook Announces New Privacy Policy: "No More Social Networking!"

UCK THIS!

In a move to shore up its sagging credibility with regard to the privacy of its 900 billion members, Facebook today announced that it was removing the "social" and the "networking" aspects of its wildly popular web site to ensure that no one can see anything about anyone else, ever, for all eternity.

"We listened to our user-base and they spoke loud and clear: They signed up voluntarily and want to keep using our platform for free, but don't want to share anything with Facebook or its advertisers, so we're going to honor their wishes," said Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg. "Now, the only person you can see on Facebook is yourself, and then only if you grant yourself permission to share things with yourself."

Under the new Facebook privacy protocols, users who want to know where they are at any given moment are going to have to enter an eight-character cuneiform code that identifies them as themselves and then informs that person only as to what they are doing at the exact moment. If that person moves from that location, the code expires and they have to enter a new one.

"F*ck it," said Zuckerberg. "I could have sold this thing to Ballmer for a few billion. Now, all everyone does is bitch about privacy this and security that. I think I'll call that guy from the Washington Post and see if he still wants to buy it, if only to pry the New York Times out of my ass! Hey - we're not on the record are we?"

When asked about how this might affect Facebook's valuation in an IPO, a Goldman Sachs analyst, who wished to remained anonymous because he was using his kids' college funds to short his wife's company's stock, said that the new policy would not be an issue in an IPO.

"Are you kidding me? Pets.com went public. Webvan went public. If there is one thing the housing bubble taught us is that we can put a plateful of dogsh*t in front of our clients and they'll eat it, every time. We're Goldman f-ing Sachs, for chrissake!"

The Modern World's Mantra: "Don't Blame Me!"

Is it any wonder that the fruit loops in Tea Party (whatever that is) can manage to gain traction? We live in a world where no one - NO ONE - seems to want to accept any responsibility for anything.

Over the weekend there was great hand-wringing - from both the left and the right - that conservative Republican Senator Bob Bennett from Utah was not selected by his party to run for re-election. The pundits and commentators said: "It's not fair. He was run out of town because he voted for the bailout and let's face it - we had no choice but to bail out the world financial system."

Well, boo-hoo.

One commentator, actually, got it right. Conservative Bill Kristol, who I ordinarily think is a bit of a dick-weed, made the spot-on observation that people are not mad at the Bob Bennetts of the world because they voted for TARP. People are mad because he, along with his fellow members of Congress, presided over a system that allowed the whole financial mess to happen in the first place.

So here we are today and what's new?

Well, we have the spectacle of the CEOs of BP, Transocean and Halliburton - the three stooges of the Gulf oil disaster - basically saying "Don't blame me. It's his fault."

And to whom are they saying it? Some of the same members of Congress (um, I'm talking to you, Senator Murkowski) who no doubt have taken sizable contributions from the oil and gas lobby.

So this dog-and-pony show of overpaid CEOs saying "Not me!" to members of Congress who will step over a dead body to grab the next campaign contribution really starts to look, well, unseemly to ordinary Americans. Hence,the Tea Party.

But wait! You and I are not innocent babes, being tossed about by the titans of politics and industry. We elected these people and we're the ones who sat and cheered while our house values went up 30 percent per year during the housing bubble. I'm not saying that we could (or would or should) have done anything about it while it was happening, but we live in the democracy we vote for.

Ask someone what they think of Congress, and they'll say (Tea Party-like): "Vote the bums out! Except my guy. He brings home the bacon. Don't blame him!"

From Goldman Sachs, to AIG to Greece to GM to Chrysler to Fannie Mae to Congress: no one is to blame for anything.

If no one is to blame, then everyone is.

Facebook: A Magical Place Where Nobody Ever Dies

I am (relatively) young at age 45. So it is very disconcerting when a classmate from high school shows up in the obituaries as one did last October. I was never that friendly with him in high school and did not keep up in the intervening 28 years, but I recall him being a nice fellow and I was sad to read of his passing.

His ghost, however, lives on... on Facebook, which has what I consider to be a rather annoying feature that suggests people we might want to "friend", based on our connections to others and on education or work history.

So this now deceased person's photo and name keep popping up as someone I might want to add as a friend. It's eerie and a bit sad.

Will it ever stop? Who knows. I am sure no one has the password to his Facebook account to delete it and even if someone did, maybe they want his page to live on in tribute. The founder of Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg is all of 14 years old, so he has not really considered the possibility that one of his members might die some day.

So, I guess Dennis will continue to pay occasional visits - a poignant reminder that on the Internet, nobody has to know you are dead.