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Glenn Beck: "Hey! Did You Smell That?"

I had a beagle - Maggie - who every time she passed gas, surprised herself as if it were the first time it had ever happened. It was like she had no idea what was going on.

This came to mind as I was reading about Glenn Beck's "rally" in Washington D.C. tomorrow. Apparently, Beck has just now discovered, for the very first time, all the things that make America great and he is going to hold a rally at the Lincoln Memorial to make sure well all know about them and "restore honor" to America.

News flash, douche-face: We know that this is a pretty good, if imperfect, nation. This country is so great that even someone like you can get his own TV show and get a permit to release verbal farts over the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool.

I just can't imagine why any thinking person would want to go and smell them.

Congress: "See you on Groundhog Day!"

I have this theory that Congress is done until February 2011. With trivial things like a jobs bill and the expiring Bush tax cuts looming, you'd think there might be a sense of urgency to get stuff done, but there just isn't time:

• Now > Labor Day: "It's the end of the summer. No one is working."
• After Labor Day > Election day: "We have to run for re-election. No time for legislating."
• After Election Day > Thanksgiving: "Lame duck Congress. Can't pass anything now!"
• Thanksgiving > January 3: "Holiday recess!"
• January 3 (new Congress is sworn in) > January 26 (State of the Union): "Hey, where's the bathroom? Do I get my own parking spot?"

So right around Groundhog Day, the new Congress will be ready to leap into action and do the people's business. Until the Presidents Day recess, which usually lasts through Easter.

The Tyranny of Frat Boys

Photo: Reuters

I remember three things from high school and college (but just three):

1. It was really, REALLY easy to fail.

2. Anyone could fail. Getting good grades was harder.

3. It was easier to maintain a 'B' average than it was to recover after slacking off and getting that 'C', 'D' or 'F'.

This came to mind because of all the grief that President Obama is getting about the economy and unemployment. The Republicans have all adopted the talking points that include "This economy is on Obama's watch now. Can't blame Bush any more!"

Really?

Obama has been president for less than two years. Bush had a full eight years to take us into record deficits after being handed a balanced budget by Clinton.

To belabor the point: Clinton handed Bush an economic "A+", who then turned it into an "F" that he handed to Obama. Now, everyone is pissed off that we're not back to at least a 'B' in 18 months.

(Quick history lesson: At this exact same moment during Reagan's first term, the economy was experiencing... wait for it... the worst recession since the Great Depression. Republicans seem to think that things worked out pretty good for the Gipper.)

While I don't think it does the president or his spokespeople any good to keep blaming Bush, I do think that any rational-thinking citizen should reflect on how completely Bush/Cheney f*cked this country.

But given that the news media, pundits and indeed most of us have the attention span of four-years-olds, there will probably be a bloodletting in the November elections. Just keep in mind that in November 2008, we were fed up with Bush and the Republicans, and voted for Obama. Now Obama is screwing the pooch. At this rate, if things aren't fixed by Valentine's Day 2011, the Tea Party will start impeachment procedures (because the Tea Party has ALL the answers.)

Suggestion: Before you go to the voting booth, do some history homework, pause and think. And remember who brought us to where we are today.